


Law of Probability

by tirsynni



Category: Fantastic Four, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Everything is Reed's Fault, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4094818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tirsynni/pseuds/tirsynni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whenever anything goes wrong, the first and most appropriate response is to look at Reed Richards...because it was probably his fault in the first place.</p>
<p>Based on an old and now lost Marvel fic prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Law of Probability

“Reed, what did you do now?”

It took Reed a moment to realize he held a phone in his hand and not his multiverse spanner. It took another moment to realize the phone was talking to him. It took yet another moment to notice Sue standing beside him with his spanner in her hand, an indulgent smile on her lips.

So. Phone. He focused away from his current project – which was going to be absolutely fascinating and he could not wait to talk with Sue about it later – to the phone. “Hello?” he tried.

“What. Did. You. Do. Now.”

Oh, yes, Tony. Reed lit up. It was rare that he could communicate with someone in-depth regarding physics, technology, and –

“Reed!”

Oh, right, his question. Reed launched into an explanation about his current difficulties with interdimensional travel and the effect of the other realities – currently a theory but one he was eager to explore – and how his current device would –

“Reed. What. The fuck. Did you do. To Nick Fury.”

Reed faltered. His mind switched gears, but the reference didn’t quite compute. He racked his brain. For some reason, Director Fury usually avoided him. When he spoke to him, it was terse and full of obscene language. The last time he saw him was three months ago after yet another alien attack and Reed had been injured in the Helicarrier’s sickbay. He even remembered Fury’s last words to him: “Go the fuck to sleep.”

“I haven’t seen Director Fury in several months,” Reed said. He went on to work on his new project again before realizing Sue still held his spanner. Reed reached for it but Sue vanished, taking the spanner with her. Reed frowned. “How is he? I hope –”

“Reed.” Reed pulled back from the phone. Tony _did_ have an impressive growl. Perhaps it was a side-effect of the caffeine consumption? “Whatever you’ve done, reverse it. _Now_.”

Tony hung up before Reed could answer. Nothing unusual. Reed shrugged to himself and began looking for Sue and his spanner. He stretched his arms and began the hunt. Somewhere close by, Sue laughed.

xoxoxox

An hour later, both naked and sated and Reed’s spanner in his hand, Reed’s phone rang again. Sue slept on and Reed took a moment to watch her. She slept quietly, sliding in and out of visibility with a lovely ease. Reed smiled adoringly.

The phone rang again. Still looking at Sue, Reed answered. “Dr. Reed –”

“What did you do to Director Fury?”

Reed flinched back at Black Widow’s voice. The last time they met, Tony had stood too close to one of Reed’s experiments, and it had occurred to Reed too late to warn him. While Tony recovered in the hospital, Black Widow pulled Reed aside and told him exactly what she would do if that happened again. He saw her in action later when Johnny grew too flirty, and it occurred to him that Black Widow had no issues using her skills off the battlefield.

Reed usually tried to avoid her.

“Director Fury?” he asked cautiously. Her question sounded familiar.

“You have two hours to return him to normal.” Her voice was even. Reed still found himself shrinking back into his pillow. “Starting now.”

When Sue awoke, Reed was still staring at his phone. “Reed?” she murmured. She touched his arm. “Is something going on?”

Reed stared, bewildered, at his phone. “I don’t know.”

xoxoxox

Spider-Man called next. While Reed usually liked talking to Spider-Man, he didn’t like talking to him when the young man was upset. Reed never quite determined if his ability was telepathic in nature, such as precognition, or probability based, such as the Scarlet Witch. Regardless, whenever Spider-Man grew too anxious, Reed knew to prepare for yet another apocalypse.

“Dammit, Reed!” Spider-Man yelped when Reed picked up the phone. “What did you do now?”

Reed immediately thought back on the last twenty-four hours. “I helped clean up the frogs,” he tried. He put down his cup of coffee before he spilled it on himself again, although the effect of heated liquid on his meta-human skin never stopped being fascinating.

“Not the frogs, and I am _still_ finding those. Do you know the Bugle is blaming me for those? But not the frogs. _Please_ tell me you aren’t experimenting on people again? Please? Or checking out alternate universes again? I swear, when the zombie apocalypse starts, it’s going to be because of you.”

Reed’s lips curved downward in what was distinctly not a pout, no matter what Sue called it. Or Johnny. Or Ben. He always thought his fellow scientists should be the first to promote his curiosity, but they generally just yelled at him the loudest. “Deadpool recovered, and there were no lasting effects. Really, the damage he left was entirely unnecessary, and he _had_ agreed –”

“He would agree to anything for fifty bucks and a chimichanga, but that’s beside the point. I meant Fury! The Avengers are freaking out, and he’s really starting to freak me out, too. I mean, this is beyond unnatural. You know what he tried to do?”

Reed stared longingly at his latest project. If he could just figure out some small bugs, he would be able to test it. He thought he could manage it that afternoon. Still, this _did_ sound intriguing. “What did he try to do?”

“He tried to _hug_ me!” Spider-Man’s voice cracked.

Reed blinked. “I think you’re breaking up,” he said. “Would you like me to update your phone? I believe –”

“NO!” Reed flinched away from the phone. “Look, just whatever you did, fix it!”

Spider-Man hung p before Reed could respond. He really thought Spider-Man had better manners than that.

xoxoxox

The next message wasn’t a phone call. It was an arrow. Through the cracked window on the top floor. Reed examined the window and reflected on the physics while Sue read the message.

“Reed?” she asked slowly. “What did you do to Director Fury?”

Reed shrugged. “I don’t know.”

xoxoxox

While Sue looked through her records of Reed’s latest experiments, Reed continued to work on his current project. As he explained to Sue, he was really close and he was curious what would happen. He even added a large red button like Johnny suggested. Sue hadn’t commented.

The phone rang. Reed answered before it occurred to him that he might be threatened again.

“Dr. Richards.” Director Fury’s warm voice pleased him. Reed balanced the phone and reviewed the machine again. He thought he had forgotten something, but he wasn’t sure what.

“Director Fury,” Reed greeted. Something itched at the back of his mind, but he pushed it away. He was so close and he could begin to investigate alternate realities. Imagine!

“I never thanked you for your generous contributions to modern science and technology.”

Reed smiled and turned the device around. “Thank you, Director.” It was so nice to hear a compliment. So many people called him only to accuse him of things. It wasn’t like he never helped clean up, and they should try to understand: it was in the name of science!

“I –” Fury continued and then a distance noise and silence. Reed heard thuds and odd noises in the background and Maria Hill’s raised voice. Then the phone call cut off.

Confused, Reed stared at his phone for several seconds and then put it away. Oh, well. He turned back to his project.

xoxoxox

In the end, the device exploded, leaving Reed with only the odd sight of Iron Man with a white veil on his helmet being dipped by Captain America. Defeated, he let Sue coax him to bed so she and Ben could clean up the pieces. He thought Johnny said something about play Tag with Spider-Man.

Reed paused at the sight of a knife and a note on his pillow. The pillow had been precisely stabbed, not a feather escaping. The letter was neatly typed. He almost called to the others before he decided to check out the note first.

“Richards – If you attempt any further experiments on Director Fury or any other members of SHIELD, or the Avengers, we know where you live. You will regret it.”

At the bottom in cursive, someone else wrote, “Thank you for fixing him.”

Reed stared at the note in confusion. What _had_ he done? He stopped and thought for a moment. Well, no one had complained about the small aliens in Central Park yet, so he thought he was still good.

Content, he straightened the pillow and slipped under the covers. Tomorrow, he would talk to Tony about how he felt about white veils.


End file.
